This is my family.
Me. Noah Sage. Andrea. Dommie Fur Pants. We fucking rock. We have our issues, just like any other family does. We also love each other fiercely and are committed to pulling through all of the ups and downs that come along with relationships because, let’s be honest with each other, they aren’t easy. Actually, if I’m completely frank, they are the hardest fucking thing on the planet besides balancing checkbooks. Regardless, we rock. We laugh together, we cry together. Some weeks we cry more if Andrea doesn’t have her stuffed moo cow for bedtime, other weeks we laugh so much we cry. Oh, wait, that’s Noah Sage. Anyway…the point is, we are just like you! See look…
We kind of rock, no? 🙂
Our family values are pretty simple: Love. Love, love and love. Oh yeah…UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Like, the kind of love that says we are all free to be who we please as long as we are kind to each other and to others around us. We support Noah Sage on his path to being the most awesome, creative, compassionate little being we’ve ever met. We support each other in our own personal endeavors…I WANT Andrea to catch her dreams just as much as I want Noah Sage to…as much as *I* want to.
After thinking all of my family troubles were over, I found out this weekend that, sadly, there are still conditions being placed on my parents’ love and acceptance for me and my family. What I have learned about my family is this: It’s OK to be a complete and utter ASS to your family and it will be excused because you have addiction problems. It’s OK to be a complete and utter ass to your EXTENDED family. See the previous excuse. It’s OK to expose your children to completely age inappropriate things like the movie 300…at a children’s birthday party…or Grand Theft Auto. It’s PERFECTLY fine to endanger your family because of said addiction. It’s OK to come to family functions, treat everyone like they are idiots, scream at little children for being children, and the best yet…it’s PERFECTLY OK to bring a handgun to family functions where six children under the age of ten are present. All of this is OK. You’ll still receive unconditional love from my parents. I also have learned this: stroking my partner’s hair in a non-sexual but affectionate way is completely unacceptable (WHAT will the kids think?). It offends my parents, my morally defunct brother and his family “of God.” <—–Yep. That was thrown in my face several times. So for me to treat my partner in the exact same way that I treat my sister, my other brother, my sister in law, my nieces and nephews…well, hell…pretty much like anyone because I AM a very physically affectionate person…that’s just NOT ok.
I cried last night. A lot. Because it’s clear that unconditional love in my family is strictly conditional. Conditional on whether or not I am willing to conform to their standards and beliefs. Forty years is a good long while to make such great efforts to change someone so, if nothing else, hats off to them for their persistence. However, they can take their conditional unconditional love and shove it where the sun don’t shine. We have the rest of my family, my partner’s family and the most amazing and most expansive chosen family (you KNOW who you are!) who all love us…UNCONDITIONALLY.
And with that, I’d love to share this little gem I came across yesterday in my friend’s house. The timing for it couldn’t have been more perfect.